


Deviation From The Script

by ruffydaffi



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25219690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruffydaffi/pseuds/ruffydaffi
Summary: Izaya is more obvious than he thinks. Shizuo calls him out on it in quite an unexpected way.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 11
Kudos: 108





	Deviation From The Script

Running into Shizuo twice in just one day when he never had the intention to in the first place was overdoing it a bit. That was what Izaya decided for himself while standing outside of his apartment building in the later hours of a chilly spring evening.

He had seen Shizuo in town earlier by chance, sans his boss but with the Russian girl by his side. The newest addition to their pathetic little team. The two of them together attracted even more attention than Shizuo already did on his own, an undeniably stunning couple. Izaya let out an involuntary laugh at his own thoughts and shook his head, as if to chase away the image.

He had watched their interaction from a safe distance, only deciding that he wasn’t actually in the mood for a confrontation when the itch of irritation at the back of his mind threatened to turn his already prominent headache into a nauseating migraine.

The headache had since dissipated and Izaya now only felt the tug of deep exhaustion in every limb after a very busy schedule and a couple of mostly sleepless nights. He continued to make his way towards his apartment building, trying not to think about anything in particular, enjoying the soothing solitariness of the almost empty streets at this hour of the night.

Just as he was about to enter the illuminated lobby through the glass doors, he saw somebody standing inside next to the elevators, casually leaning against the wall. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be the subject of his earlier thoughts: Shizuo. He had his arms crossed, his sunglasses were gone, which left only his glare remaining and directed at him now that he had noticed Izaya at the entrance. Apparently waiting for his return.

Well.

Shizuo showing up at Izaya’s main office couldn’t exactly be called an everyday occurrence but it wasn’t the first time either. He couldn’t think of any immediate reason that could have made the other seek him out at his place and at this hour of the night. It couldn’t have been about their one-sided encounter this afternoon, either, since Shizuo would have charged at him the second he caught sight of Izaya.

But then again, was there ever any logic to the monster’s behavior? He hadn’t made any move to attack him now, either. The only thing Izaya could rely on when it came to Shizuo was to expect the unpredictable. The thrill of it was one of the reasons he wouldn’t leave the other be. Another was that he simply enjoyed pissing Shizuo off because it guaranteed that all of his undivided attention was directed at Izaya, even if only for a short amount of time.

After making up his mind, Izaya hesitated only for a moment before entering. He surely was intrigued, maybe even more by Shizuo’s unexpected visit than his apparent disinterest in attacking him, but decided not to let his surprise show. His original plan for the evening had involved tea and a relaxing bath. He wasn’t really up for a fight but if push came to shove, he would be ready. Would have to be ready, considering Shizuo’s temper.

The lobby had camera surveillance, which was a source of comfort in a way, and Izaya already had a firm grip on the faithful flip knife in his pocket. Still, he felt his pulse quicken despite his best attempt to remain indifferent and quenched down the blend of unease and something akin to twisted excitement the moment it made itself known. Masking his slight discomfort, Izaya put on a mock innocent smile to greet Shizuo with.

“Shizu-chan! Whatever made you come seek me out at this hour of the night? A business request? I’m afraid my office is closed for the day. Or perhaps you’ve been missing my company? I had quite a tight schedule, so sorry I couldn’t come out and play today,” Izaya chirped in his most annoyingly cheerful voice, grinning at Shizuo in a way that usually made the other grit his teeth in rising anger.

Shizuo cocked his head as if an involuntary reaction to Izaya’s voice and only growled menacingly in response, continuing to glare, not bothering to elaborate any further and with actual words why he had shown up at Izaya’s in the first place. But the violent explosion of rage never came.

Izaya raised his eyebrows. Now that was interesting.

So he countered Shizuo’s glare with a smirk, not saying anything either and took a moment to give the other man a once-over, only now noticing that the bow tie usually complementing his bartender outfit was missing, his usually crisp white shirt untidy with the first two top buttons undone, showing skin. His bleached hair was tousled, as if he had repeatedly run his hands through it.

His uncharacteristically relaxed posture was as unusual as it was unnerving, but Izaya also couldn’t deny how the nonchalance of Shizuo’s slightly disheveled appearance had a certain appeal. He suddenly had the urge to clear his throat.

Izaya mentally shook his head to cut off any further thoughts of that nature and averted his gaze from the other man momentarily to approach the elevators, pressing the button to call for it. He was closer to Shizuo now and despite his best efforts to stay calm and relaxed, he could feel the tension creeping up his back and settling in his neck. He felt a little warm and his hand around the knife in his pocket started to feel sweaty. Izaya couldn’t wait to get away from whatever this was and finally get home and take a bath.

As he waited for the elevator to arrive, never letting Shizuo out of his sight from the corner of his eye, he couldn’t help but notice the subtle smell of alcohol wafting over from the other man. Now that was even more curious. Considering the way he was so uncharacteristically subdued in Izaya’s presence led to the conclusion that alcohol had a mellowing effect on Shizuo’s short temper. Izaya grinned in glee. It was as funny as it was pathetic and he mentally filed away this piece of information for future reference. He couldn’t stop himself form commenting on it, of course, even if it probably wasn’t the best idea in the given situation. It was second nature to him to get a rise out of the monster, after all.

“Were you out having fun, Shizu-chan? Did you go drinking by yourself or did the Russian girl invite you again? Ah, aren’t you lucky, that someone actually took pity on you and decided to keep you company?” Only after the words were out of his mouth did Izaya realize that he had mentioned the Russian on his own accord. He hoped that the other man wouldn’t notice the slip-up in his current intoxicated state.

Shizuo finally decided to move and pushed himself off the wall, uncrossing his arms.

“Shut the hell up, flea!” He spat, but there wasn’t the usual vigor behind it. Slowly, he started to make his way towards Izaya.

The tension in his body increased and he could feel the familiar prickle of adrenalin spreading through his system at the imminent danger. But Izaya stood stubbornly rooted to the spot in front of the elevator. Why did it take so long to arrive anyway? If it had been out of order, they would have probably hung up a sign. He was getting annoyed.

“You know, Shizu-chan, I even apologized for not having the time to come and tease you today, so what do you want with me? I’m always in for a good fight but surely we could postpone it for tomorrow? I’m rather tired today. Also, I’m sure my neighbors would appreciate you not wrecking the lobby and raising hell in the middle of the night”.

The numbers on the floor indicator changed but the elevator still didn’t come. Izaya pushed the button a second time.

Shizuo was practically breathing down his neck now, with how close he stood. The smell of whatever he had to drink hit Izaya’s nose and he wrinkled it in distaste.

“Fuck you and all your blabbering…” was Shizuo’s almost placid response. Iyaza felt the taller man’s intense body heat rolling off in waves in such close proximity.

“Don’t even think about harming her,” he continued in a low and menacing voice.

Deciding that standing with his back to Shizuo was a very bad idea after all, Izaya finally turned and faced him.

“Excuse me?” he asked with genuine curiosity in his voice. Now this was even more interesting.

“You know what I mean, you bastard flea. Keep Vorona out of this.”

Izaya felt amusement and something resembling irritation bubble up in his chest and a loud laugh burst out of him.

“Out of what? I’m afraid I can’t follow the train of thoughts your one-celled brain struggles to produce, Shizu-chan. Whatever are you talking about?” Izaya batted his eyelashes and smirked at the other man.

“You think I don`t notice you snooping and following us around ever since you found out she joined Tom-san and me? Your flea stench pollutes the air and spreads like the damn plague. I’m not gonna repeat myself: Leave. Her. Alone.” Shizuo spoke through gritted teeth.

Izaya ignored his all-time favorite insult, it was childish and not worth getting irritated over. Shizuo mentioning the Russian made his brow twitch, though.

So what if lately he made it his main hobby to stake the two, sometimes three of them out from coffee shops and roof tops around Ikebukuro? Or that he sometimes would simply satisfy his curiosity of wanting to see what Shizuo was up to after his work day had ended and with whom he would decide to spend the rest of his evenings.

Izaya just did what he enjoyed the most: observing humans and their actions. It wasn’t his fault that a monster decided to mingle with them.

Shizuo finding out about his latest shenanigans shouldn’t have bothered him. It wasn’t like Izaya had any other motives besides keeping tabs on his most beloved and his most hated.

He didn’t deem the silly accusation of Shizuo basically calling him as stalker worthy of a reply, but simply couldn’t keep his mouth shut because it irked him that the other would go to such lengths as to even seek him out and tell him personally to stay away from the girl. Did he really care that much about her? Izaya’s features twisted into a leer devoid of humor.

“My, Shizu-chan, what a considerate beast you are, protecting the beauty. Although, I am quite sure that she could take care of herself just fine. I know she can. You trying to protect her would probably only lead to even greater disaster. Maybe it’s you who should stay away from her?”

Shizuo’s eyes blazed with anger in response to the other man’s taunts and he leaned down the few inches to bump his forehead hard against Izaya’s, shouting out a challenging “Aaaah?!”

Izaya didn’t flinch from the contact, even though his heart felt like it would leap out of his throat at the suddenness of Shizuo’s actions. Showing fear was not an option, though, so he forced himself to stay put and keep eye contact with the monster. Finally Shizuo started to react in a more familiar way. It was almost comforting.

Still, the other’s hot skin seemed to burn him where it happened to touch his own. Izaya gripped the knife in his pocket even harder, his other hand’s fingernails biting into the flesh of his palm. Briefly and mostly involuntarily, his gaze grazed over Shizuo’s lips.

Suddenly, he didn’t feel like taking this poor excuse for a conversation any further. It was a miracle they even got this far without Shizuo taking the whole place apart. Maybe Izaya went too easy on him with his provocations. He blamed the absence of his usual spiel on his exhaustion.

The additional stress his body experienced whenever Shizuo was near wasn’t helping either. Keeping a cool demeanor despite the other being so close to him took its toll. At this point, he would have even preferred a direct attack, not this tiresome game they were currently playing.

Izaya sighed exasperatedly, as if preparing to lecture a child, but actually he just tried to get rid of some of the tension and calm himself down.

“Why are you even here, Shizu-chan? It’s very late, I’m very tired, you’re very drunk. Just call it a day?”

Still not breaking eye contact, Izaya carefully extracted himself form their current position by taking a step back.

“I’m not drunk…” Shizuo grumbled halfheartedly, as if suddenly distracted by something more interesting, taking in Izaya’s every move.

Just then the elevator gave off the characteristic gentle chime indicating its arrival and the doors opened unhurriedly behind Izaya’s back. He didn’t wait any further and started slowly backing away and into the open cabin, watching Shizuo warily, but still with a grin on his face.

There was always the chance that the other would simply wrench the elevator’s doors open before Izaya could get away, but he would at least try.

“Anyway, here’s my ride, so to speak, so good night, Shizu-cha-“

As if in slow motion, Izaya’s vision suddenly shifted and he felt disoriented for a brief moment before he realized he was about to hit the ground. He must have tripped on a bump in the carpet while walking backwards into the elevator.

Izaya braced himself for the impact and squeezed his eyes shut on reflex, preparing for the surely painful collision with the ground.

Except, it never came.

Instead, he felt a painful grip on his upper arm. Izaya opened his eyes.

Shizuo was holding him upright awkwardly, having prevented his fall. There were a few seconds of tense silence before Izaya looked up wide-eyed at Shizuo’s face.

As soon as their eyes met Izaya couldn’t stop his cheeks from lightening up in metaphorical flames. Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed.

Shizuo’s own flabbergasted expression changed to pure amusement, a wide, almost friendly grin spreading over his face, making the attractiveness of his features stand out even more. Izaya just continued to ogle him like a fish out of water.

“And you’re saying I’m drunk…” Shizuo’s toothy smile was something Izaya wanted to slash into with his knife that very moment. His brain finally caught up with his body and he tried to wrench himself free from the vice like hold the brute had on his arm, furious with himself for letting the situation get out of hand like this. And for actually tripping, like a klutz he sure as hell wasn’t.

Izaya struggled some more, wanting to distract the other from his blushing face and to reach his coat’s pocket with his free hand simultaneously in order to draw his knife and bury it deep into Shizuo’s arm. And preferably some other body parts. Izaya knew it was wishful thinking considering his monster skin but it still was a comforting thought.

When Shizuo made no attempt to let go of his arm, Izaya forced himself to finally look at him again. He had regained his footing by then but the burning humiliation that had settled in his stomach over his most hated enemy seeing him slip up like this was making him feel weak in the knees. He had gotten uncomfortably hot in his jacket and sensing the subtle suggestion of Shizuo’s strength where their bodies were connected wasn’t exactly helping things either.

Feigning nonchalance, as if the whole tripping-over-the-carpet incident hadn’t just occurred a moment ago, Izaya smiled deridingly at Shizuo.

“Who knew Shizu-chan gets so clingy when intoxicated? I almost feel flattered. But there are security cameras in here, too, just for your information. They’ll have it recorded if you try to assault me.” Izaya decided to distract the monster by twisting the situation around.

It seemed to work, as Shizuo raised his eyebrows slightly, his face taking on a confused expression.

“Assault?”

“Well, that’s what it clearly looks like. You coming into my apartment building in an intoxicated state, threatening me and getting rough with me. “

Shizuo took another step towards him.

“Getting rough?” he asked, his expression dumbfounded once again.

Izaya shrugged as best as he could with the beast’s grip still around his arm.

“You grabbed me and now you won’t let me go. Very romantic, Shizu-chan.” Izaya added mockingly.

Shizuo just blinked at the other man as if he had trouble processing the words spoken to him. It was almost comical and Izaya would have laughed at him if their current position wouldn’t have made an unidentifiable nervousness settle in his stomach.

Izaya still held Shizuo’s gaze, satisfied that he had at least managed to wipe off the grin from the other’s face with his words. Although the lack of reaction and his silence were making him queasy, he willed his features to relax into a sly grin. He wasn’t interested in losing any more face today.

Neither of them moved or spoke for the next few seconds, Izaya’s whole body thrumming with tension, until Shizuo finally - and in Izaya’s perception agonizingly slow - unwrapped his fingers, freeing the other from his grip. Shizuo put his hands back in his pockets but didn’t make any attempts to move otherwise, seemingly preferring to observe Izaya’s next action, his head cocked slightly sideways, his face oddly relaxed.

He felt his arm throb where the monster had caught him but ignored it just as much as the realization that Shizuo had actually prevented his fall without a second thought of whom he was helping at that very moment. And he had let him go, even though it would have probably been the perfect opportunity to beat Izaya up.

What more, Shizuo had looked at him with something other than pure wrath and even now amusement softened his features, despite Izaya’s twisted words.

Izaya didn’t think that his threat involving the camera surveillance was the cause, Shizuo wouldn’t let something like that hold him back. Could it all be the effects of the alcohol, then? How much did he have to drink anyway? Maybe someone had spiked his drink to see what it would do to the brute?

A hateful and enraged Shizuo was something he could deal with. That other side of his personality Izaya bitterly acknowledged the existence of but vehemently tried to deny and ignore frankly threw him off. The way he interacted with others made him seem likeable and approachable. It made Shizuo seem human. But that simply couldn’t be the case. It would be a contradiction, an affront to nature.

Izaya cursed the other for letting him take yet another glimpse at that other person he could be beneath all the violence. That other side of him that attracted people and made them care for him. That Russian girl included. Izaya furrowed his brows at the intrusiveness of his own thoughts, trying to distract himself by concentrating on how much he loathed the other and everything he stood for.

Shizuo apparently had done some thinking of his own in the meantime and decided on approaching Izaya again by taking a few steps forward. Izaya immediately drew his knife with long honed agility now that his left arm was free, pointing it at the other’s face. He was proud of his hand not trembling. It was a futile threat, of course, since Shizuo’s skin was by now mostly unbreakable by knives. Izaya suppressed a shudder at the thought.

Shizuo stopped in his tracks.

“Aussalt, huh? Right now, you’re the one with the knife”.

Izaya laughed out and decided to voice his thought from a moment ago. “Shizu-chan, we all know a knife wouldn’t do any real damage. Unfortunately.”

“Also, as far as I remember, you tripped over your own feet, I-za-ya-kun.” Shizuo’s grin grew wide once more while Izaya couldn’t keep another blush from rapidly creeping up his neck all the way up to the roots of his hair. How dare he continue to mock him like that? Now he had yet another reason to kill the monster. He would take his sweet time planning and plotting, getting his proper revenge on Shizuo for making him go through such a humiliating experience.

For today, though, he’d had enough excitement and playing around and decided he simply wanted to get home as fast as possible.

Which was probably easier said than done.

While reaching out to break Izaya’s fall, Shizuo had entered the elevator as well and was now effectively blocking the exit, the automatic doors behind him shut. Izaya was fast but probably wouldn’t be able to get around Shizuo without considerable effort. And damage. Now that the beast had him in this positon it wouldn’t let go of its prey so easily.

How bothersome. He was standing literally backed into a wall. Trapped. Izaya mentally shook off the brief feeling of claustrophobia and tried to focus on the problem at hand. A tall, drunk, very persistent problem. Why wouldn’t Shizuo leave? Was he still expecting a fight? Why wasn’t he attacking him then?

Before Izaya’s brain could go into overdrive analyzing Shizuo’s behavior, his own reactions and thoughts, as well as the evening as a whole, he forced himself to calm down, since panicking would not get him anywhere.

Izaya lowered his arm and closed the flip knife, putting his hands back into his coat’s pockets. He took a few steps back and away from the other man, creating some much needed distance between them. His back hit the cabin wall and he leaned against it, a posture of apparent defeat. He sighed tiredly and looked up at Shizuo from under his brows.

It was laughable, but maybe talking Shizuo down would actually work.

“Look, Shizu-chan, all of this is pretty pointless. What did you even come here for if you’re not going to beat me up? You had all the chances to do so. I really think it’d be best if you just left this very moment. I promise I’ll come play with you tomorrow first thing.”

Izaya grinned cheekily at the other man, hoping against hope that he could actually talk some sense into the monster. He really didn’t feel like dealing with Shizuo for much longer, even less with the mixed feelings the other’s presence started to stir up within him, so that had to do as an excuse.

“I sure as hell was goin’ to beat you up… fully intended to bash your lil’ flea-brained head in after I saw you in Ikebukuro today…” Despite his violent words, Shizuo’s face seemed relaxed, his dark eyes trained on Izaya intently, his low voice making shivers run up and down Izaya’s back. “S’ why I came all the way here originally,” he continued, taking another step towards his opponent.

Izaya didn’t say anything and didn’t move, staring back at Shizuo defensively, his bruised pride not allowing him to break eye contact with the monster even though he could feel his face growing hot again for unfathomable reasons. The anticipation of what was going to happen kept Izaya in place, his curiosity overruling his natural fight or flight instincts.

It felt like half an eternity had passed when Shizuo decided to take the final step, literarily.

He closed the distance between them in two quick strides and was now in front of Izaya, getting into his personal space too close for comfort.

Izaya’s head snapped up and he just stared at the other, the grin that had been plastered to his face up until then morphing into a nervous grimace. The proximity left him yet again feeling paralyzed, Shizuo’s inhuman body heat and warm, alcohol infused breath making it hard to breathe. He couldn’t deny any longer how the atmosphere in the confined space had shifted and now tried to decide for himself whether he liked where this was going or not. He felt positively overwhelmed.

Briefly, Izaya wondered if maybe he had fallen asleep, after all, and this was just one of those dreams he would never admit to having, but which occasionally would wake him up in the middle of the night, sweaty and trembling with shameful excitement.

His accelerated heartbeat and the blood rushing through his head reminded Izaya that he was very well awake, though. Despite his extreme exhaustion the tension held his body on high alert, as if tuned to Shizuo’s every move.

Izaya refused to understand the other man’s motives behind his current actions and loathed how much out of control he felt. Once again, Shizuo had exceeded his expectations by going down a completely different route.

They continued their staring contest, Shizuo now looking down at him because of their slight difference in height, and Izaya noticing the concentration on the other’s face. He tried to dismiss how his mouth went dry under that attentive gaze. In the slightly dimmed down light of the elevator Shizuo’s usually chocolate colored eyes appeared black.

The silence stretched out, making the situation even more unbearable for Izaya, his thoughts rotating in his head by now, still building and in the same instant breaking down futile escape plans by habit. He tried to hide his efforts to swallow the lump in his throat by once again smiling at Shizuo with what he hoped was insolence but didn’t trust his voice yet to throw something spiteful at the other man, to show him how he wasn’t affected by any of this in the slightest.

Shizo beat him to it. “Your face is really red… and your ears, too,” he said, his low voice tinged with amusement and something else.

Before Izaya could sputter in indignation at what the other had just said, he taller man pressed up against him, making Izaya’s breath hitch, which he immediately hid by clearing his throat. He wouldn’t grant Shizuo the satisfaction of losing his nerve, even if the other thought he’d found Izaya’s weak spot.

“Uh, as I said, there are cameras in here. And people could come in any time. What are you even doing, Shizu-chan? You should reconsider drinking, it messes with what little brain matter you have.”

“I told you, I’m not drunk,” Shizuo pressed further into him, his lips brushing Izaya’s hair. “Probably never been more clear-headed…”

Izaya’s stomach had been doing constant sommersaults ever since they had ended up inside the elevator, but Shizuo’s words hit him like a sucker punch. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. The firmness of Shizuo’s body wedged into his, their shared body heat, the suggestion that Shizuo _knew_ made his breaths come out short. It was like a dream and nightmare coming true at once, molded together. He felt a maniac laugh building up from the inner turmoil he experienced, trying to find its way out of his mouth. All he managed was a soft “Heh” instead.

Shizuo freeing his hands from his pockets didn’t go unnoticed, though, and in seconds Izaya was as wound up as a string, once again highly alert of any further movements the other would choose to make.

What Izaya wasn’t prepared for, though, were those hands settling on his hips in a firm but not yet bruising grip. The exhale that left his slightly parted lips at the contact felt like it took a piece of his soul with it.

As if he no longer had any control over them, Izaya’s raised his own arms up to wind them around Shizuo’s back, one hand still clutching the knife.

He was spacing out, still not quite comprehending how exactly they had ended up in this position. He was staring straight ahead, past Shizuo’s shoulder and at the closed doors of the elevator. The tension was excruciating and Izaya had the impression that the sound of his rapid heartbeat was echoing off the walls of the narrow cabin.

“Why are you hugging me?”

Shizuo’s deep and slightly throaty voice made Izaya refocus his attention and he looked at the other man’s face once again.

“It’s just an involuntary physical reaction…” Izaya replied, ignoring the other’s mocking tone and not bothering with the countering question why Shizuo was putting his hands on him in that way in the first place. Izaya’s face and ears were hot, his clothes uncomfortably warm.

“Heh, I can feel another physical reaction right here…” Shizuo was grinning again and Izaya couldn’t help another rush of blood painting his face a fresh shade of pink as Shizuo finally pointed out what he so desperately had tried to ignore and hide up until now.

“What the hell, I-za-ya-kun.” The monster’s rumbling voice only managed to send another shiver through his body.

There was a stretch of silence as Izaya failed to reply. Not only to Shizuo but he also had no answer for himself.

Until Shizuo moved once again and now fully wound his arms around Izaya’s back in an equivalent to a bear hug, trapping him between his own body and the wall. After jerking back as a first initial reaction, Izaya relaxed a fraction, then tightened his grip on Shizuo’s bartender vest reciprocally, his ear now flush against Shizuo’s equally hot cheek.

Izaya let himself sink deeper into the not quite crushing embrace, closing his eyes and taking in the other’s smell. He was frankly in awe at the monster’s ability to actually control his strength and not break his ribs right away.

“What is this, Shizu-chan?” he rephrased the other’s enquiry in a breathy voice.

Instead of an answer, he got Shizuo slightly shifting position until his thigh was between Izaya’s legs. Izaya swallowed a gasp, a tremor running up his spine at that particular contact. He couldn’t help but almost greedily indulge in the delicious pressure, allowing himself to revel in the feeling for a brief moment. A barely audible whimper escaped him. Was he imagining things or did Shizuo’s breath take on an equally ragged quality? It got more curious by the minute.

“I asked you first, flea,” Shizuo grumbled somewhere above him.

Izaya didn’t dare give into the temptation yet of seeking out more friction. And Shizuo was not moving either, although evidence of his own excitement was clearly pushing against Izaya’s thigh by now.

He wanted to laugh at the absurdity, wanted to lash out, stab and kick at this monster disguised as a human but felt himself immobilized by Shizuo’s strength and his own growing frustration laced with undeniable arousal.

He still couldn’t wrap his head around what was actually happening.

All of a sudden, Izaya was overwhelmed with the realization that he had given something away, something about himself that was not meant for others and especially not Shizuo to know. A weakness, now laid bare. A want he had felt so profusely down to his bones for a very long time. Something he had been able to burry deep inside, because as much as it was real it was still impossible. So why bother with even thinking about it? With layer after layer of loathing Izaya had successfully overwritten this desire. Or so he had thought.

Leave it to Shizuo to negate all his efforts and unearth what should’ve remained hidden forever.

Izaya kept holding unto him like a drowning man, basking in the shared heat and the way their bodies reacted to each other, intently listening to every single one of Shizuo’s uneven breaths. How did he manage to convince himself before that simply watching from afar and occasionally teasing him would ever be enough? Izaya felt a flare of almost overwhelming possessiveness flicker through him.

Finally, somehow finding his resolve, he experimentally rubbed the front of his pants against Shizuo’s thigh, which sent jolts of pleasure through his whole body. Shizuo groaned at the friction and mirrored the action, driving Izaya further into the wall, eliciting a surprised gasp from the shorter man.

It seemed like Shizuo had waited for Izaya to give permission. Or maybe for him to submit to what must have been more evident than he had assumed.

He bent down to mouth at Izaya’s neck, pressing a kiss underneath his ear. Another shiver ran up Izaya’s spine and he couldn’t suppress a broken whimper, automatically turning his head to give Shizuo better access. His hands fisted in the other man’s vest and he arched his hips up, seeking out more of the particular sensation of having Shizuo’s lips on his skin.

It was too much and not enough at the same time. Shizuo kept attacking his neck with surprisingly gentle bites and kisses, sucking at his earlobe and burying his nose in his hair, while his hands roamed over Izaya’s smooth skin underneath his black shirt.

As if he wanted to touch Izaya everywhere at once and couldn’t decide what to put his focus on first.

Izaya frankly felt overwhelmed by Shizuo’s impetuousness, physically and mentally. Back when he still allowed himself to indulge in ridiculous fantasies, he’d imagined something like that, only for Shizuo to be rough and unapologetic, just taking what he wanted like the primitive beast that Izaya liked to believe he was.

To experience it for real was so much scarier. Izaya had to admit that he wasn’t sure he was ready for it.

The scariest part, though, was how Shizuo had figured it out. Izaya had once again underestimated him and how dangerously perceptive he could be.

When Shizuo’s thumb brushed over the sensitive scar tissue on his side, Izaya’s body gave an involuntary jerk and a throaty “Ah!” escaped him.

Shizuo let his fingers run over that spot once more, making Izaya squirm up against him.

“What’s that?” he asked, speaking against Izaya’s silky hair.

“A souvenir,” Izaya replied, his forehead resting against the crook of Shizuo’s neck, his lips almost touching the exposed skin there.

“From when you got stabbed?”

Izaya’s eyes widened at that. He hadn’t expected for Shizuo to know about this particular incident from some time ago. It filled him with an emotion he couldn’t quite place, a new rush of heat making his cheeks burn.

“Yup,” Was Izaya’s curt reply. At the memory, his lips twisting into a cruel smile Shizuo couldn’t see. The scar served as a reminder of how underestimating your enemy would inevitably not turn out in one’s favor. Hadn’t Izaya sworn to himself never to make that mistake again?

“Kinda ironic…” Shizuo mused, his voice warm and smooth like liquid chocolate.

“Are you trying to be funny, Shizu-chan? Don’t. You’re not funny.” Izaya pressed the handle of his closed knife into Shizuo’s back for emphasis.

“It’s still ironic, though,” Shizuo let him know before his hands were settling on Izaya’s ass over his jeans, tugging him even closer against his own body.

Izaya didn’t allow any undignified sound to leave his throat at that, but it made him drop his knife. It landed on the carpeted floor with a dull sound.

Shizuo continued with his explorations, taking an unsettling interest in Izaya’s reactions to his ministrations. He managed to wring out an “Mmmh” when he started to kneed the flesh of his ass experimentally.

Izaya’s own hands took up to roaming over Shizuo’s back, having the impression of burning his palms on the heat of the other’s body even through two layers of cloth. He felt lightheaded, trying to keep up with whatever Shizuo dished out next. Like everything between them, this started to take on the character of yet another battle.

He couldn’t deny the thrill of it. Nor could he any longer ignore the exhilarating realization of what Shizuo’s actions implied.

It was then that Izaya felt his exhaustion hitting him full force, the thought too much for his overstrung brain to process. He slumped down and buried his head into Shizuo’s shoulder, breathing in the smell of cigarettes and cologne mixed with sweat, letting the inhumanly strong arms around his body support his weight.

Something in his body language must have changed then, enough for Shizuo to put a halt to his exploration of the other’s body.

“Izaya?” his breath tickled Izaya’s ear.

Hearing his name spoken in that rough voice made Izaya’s squirm again. He felt wrung out, like it was physically impossible to take any more of this.

Slowly, Izaya unclenched his fists from around the material of Shizuo’s uniform and let his arms drop by his sides, his forehead still resting against the other’s shoulder.

Shizuo didn’t move for a few seconds, apparently wanting to make sure he was interpreting the mood correctly.

Without another word he then slowly untangled himself from Izaya. When Shizuo at last took a step back, taking away the heat and giving him space, Izaya felt an irrational sense of loss.

He kept his eyes trained on his knife still lying on the floor, until he finally felt steady enough to look up at the other’s face.

Shizuo was the one to avoid eye contact this time, his demeanor suddenly completely changed. He was frowning but looked almost bashful while fumbling around with a pack of cigarettes and the lighter he had produced from his vest’s pockets.

Feeling strangely calm, Izaya merely watched him.

“Do you actually plan on smoking in here?” he decided to ask after all.

Shizuo’s head snapped up at the inquiry.

He studied Izaya wordlessly for a few seconds, his unreadable gaze wandering over the other’s face.

“Right…” he uttered meekly and stuffed the cigarette pack back into his front pocket.

It seemed like he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. Shizuo ran his hand through his hair once again, Izaya greedily taking in the display, suddenly remorseful for not taking the chance to touch the other’s hair when he had the chance earlier.

After another moment of hesitation, Shizuo decided to look at Izaya once more, his face now wearing a serious expression. Izaya found that rather funny but he was too tired to comment on it. He had seen quite the menagerie of different faces Shizuo could make up close this evening, something he would marvel at later when alone in his bed, obsessively replaying the events of the evening over and over again.

“What do you want, Izaya?” Shizuo’s deep voice was steady and calm when he spoke.

Izaya blinked at that, the question catching him completely off-guard. He quickly masked it by schooling his face into a leer. He was slowly starting to feel like himself again. Or so he made himself believe. It wouldn’t ever be the same again. Not after all this.

Still, he decided to stick to their old script for now. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he hoped his voice wouldn’t come out shaky.

“Well, obviously I want you dead, Shizu-chan,” Izaya continued to smile gloatingly and tilted his head to the side, expectant of Shizuo’s reaction.

The lack of proper response was disappointing. But Shizuo made up for that with the way he was once again seizing him up with a gaze so intense it made his skin crawl.

Izaya refused to be intimidated by whatever it implied and stubbornly countered it with his brows drawn together and his mouth set in a thin line. He wasn’t smiling any longer.

Shizuo reached out and pressed a button on the elevator’s control panel. The doors opened with a chime.

“Just stay out of Ikebukuro, flea.”

Shizuo turned around and stepped out of the cabin, shoulders hunched and both hands back in his slack’s pockets. And just like that, he was gone.

Izaya stared at the empty space for another second. Until he couldn’t stay upright any longer.

He sagged down onto the elevator’s carpeted floor, the wall supporting him, knees drawn up. His body felt heavy and drained. Only now did he notice how his shirt stuck wetly to his back, how his hands trembled. He leaned his arms on his knees and let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply a few times.

When he eventually opened them back up, his gaze caught on the control panel. Shizuo had apparently pushed the door open button so hard it was now hopelessly jammed into the frame. Izaya smirked tiredly.

The bone-deep exhaustion was overriding any emotions for now but soon enough the intense humiliation of the whole situation would catch up with him, as would the self-loathing for letting his most hated enemy tear into him like that. For letting his jealousy get so obvious. For thoughtlessly indulging in what had been offered to him in such an unsolicited manner.

Izaya still felt the phantom touch of Shizuo’s fierce embrace around his body. He couldn’t wait to examine the bruises he was sure were already starting to bloom on his skin underneath the shirt.

Izaya quietly laughed to himself.

As if anything could ever keep him from coming to Ikebukuro. He would stay true to his earlier words and pay Shizuo a visit first thing tomorrow.

Let him win this battle. Izaya would make sure to win the war.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written anything in ages and it probably shows. Been revising this fic for weeks now, there was no end in sight, so I finally decided to post and be done with it.
> 
> Anyway, consider this story (aka writing practice) as my take on the “Izaya secretly having the hots for Shizuo” trope. I always wanted to write something along the lines of Izaya being a jealous little vermin in denial of his own feelings. Also, I think Vorona and Shizuo are really cute together, even though their relationship in canon is rather twisted as well. DRRR canon generally makes me sad, haha.
> 
> Although I’ve been a fan of the series for a long time, this is actually my very first DRRR/Shizaya ff. There are so many amazing stories to be found on this archive (check out my bookmarks!) and around the Internet that I somehow lacked the motivation and courage to post something of my own up until now. Plus, writing Shizuo is really hard... so feedback is greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


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